You read it up top.

Upon arriving at the bank, I had a feeling that I would be met with displeasure and opposition to close my accounts.  Little did I know!  As I reached the front of the line, I told the banker that I would like to close all of my accounts.

Her face scrunched up, she exclaims, "I can't do that here!!"
I reply, "Well call someone who can."

She tells me to wait at the lobby and she'll call a banker to help me.  As I walk away I hear her ask the next person if she could help them, never telling anyone that I was there.  I turn around and ask her "Are you going to let anyone know I'm over here?" 

She says, "Just let me finish up here...."

4-5 minutes later a banker walks by and asks "Are you waiting for someone?"

Anyways - as we sit down she says, "I hate to be blunt, but who are you going to bank with?"

Taken aback, I reply "No one."

She says, "Well how on earth are you going to manage that?"

Lowering my voice to show my displeasure, " Isn't that my business to figure out?"

Getting up from her seat, she goes to her boss and chats with her. 

She comes back and asks me for more ID to verify that I am who I say I am.  LOL.

I reply, "All I have is my ID now that you've taken all my cards.  If you'd like to me tell you the pin numbers on the cards, that should verify for you who I am."

Quickly walking back to her manager, I wonder just what they are up to. 
How hard can it be to close 7 accounts at one bank?

Our child was with me on this outting and I was trying to explain to a 4 year old why we were closing the accounts and what was taking so long.  My attempt at 4-year old language and banking is below.

"Honey, I'm having a hard time understanding why I give my money to the bank so that they can use that money to buy themselves new toys and new things with MY money.  Then they think that is ok to charge me more money so that they can use my money to buy themselves new things.  I just don't think that makes sense and I think I'll just keep my money to buy you and our family new things."

Yay for me, I'm so proud to take such a strong stance!!  I really thought I was going to chicken out but I didn't!!!

*PATS ON THE BACK TO ME*